As parents we often like to polarize ourselves. Whether it is done consciously or sub-consciously, one parent is often the strict one, who likes to have all the rules in place, and punishments ready for when those rules are broken. While the other one is the caring, nurturing parent who more often than not, ends up pampering the child. This has been done for generations and proven to be an effective parenting methodology. But is it??
Children learn very quickly and effectively how to polarize their parents, even from a very young age. It is true that every parent has their own way and ideas of how they want to raise their child, and usually it differs between couples, which is absolutely alright. Couples should be able to raise their kids differently in their own unique way, without having to conflict each other as well. They can complement each others ways.
This stands true not just between couples but also between families, like parents and grandparents. The biggest complaint I hear from moms today is that well, “ I am following the theories and the rules and striving so hard to do things, for e.g keep my child away from screens or limit candies and chocolates but some other member in the house will come and immediately give the child what he/she wants, and usually this would be the Dad or Uncle or Grandparents.” This is one of the biggest challenge that moms say they face today.
When children are raised around adults with different personalities who behave differently with them over the same or similar circumstances, it is proven to be highly beneficial for the child. The child learns how to maneuver his or her way around these adults based on the situation, and the person the child is dealing with. Which is exactly what we all have to do in the world as adults, as we come across varied personalities of humans around us. This is an added advantage for the child, as very early on in life, the child builds a lot of emotional resilience and to some extent an understanding of different personalities, and continues to grow that skill.
Learning this kind of emotional resilience could be very important, and families can learn to work together, raising their child in their own ways but complementing each other instead of conflicting each other. And families who are able to see this and do this, are often the ones who do better with raising children together, and as we always say, “It takes a village to raise a. child.”