As parents we want to keep changing our children's behavior. We feel that the moment our child turns 3 and is over that whole terrible 2's phase, he or she is suddenly going to become a good kid. We keep waiting for them to change and stop throwing tantrums.
The truth is that every year our children will adapt new behaviors that you may not like. First it ll be the baby hood period when they need us every moment, then the terrible 2's, then they ll have the growth phase, then the preteens and the teenage phase and it ll go on and on, (until their frontal lobes are completely developed).
We are focusing on the wrong thing. We should be focusing instead on how to manage their behavior when they do behave in a certain way, and that is what will make all the difference in your child's lives and personalities.
It is not about whether your 4 year old says thank you and sorry enough times, to enough people. It is about whether this 4 year old kid grows up to be an adult who feels grateful, and is actually empathetic towards people. It is not about whether your 2 year old can regulate himself from wanting things inside a super market. It is about whether this 2 year old can eventually learn to be an emotionally resilient adult, and learn to manage his will and emotions.
We expect too much of kids when they are way too young. These mini versions of us are walking around with an underdeveloped frontal lobe and are not equipped enough to control themselves from wanting everything in a super market, or actually knowing that they need to be grateful or apologetic in a situation. It doesn't matter if they are throwing tantrums about things.
So what actually matters is how are you reacting or responding to that tantrum. You are a living, talking , walking e.g for them, from whom they will learn everything. So if you can be empathetic with them through that tantrum, and emotionally regulate yourself first. They will learn to do the same eventually. for themselves and others.
If you can set firm and loving limits for them when they are not capable enough to set those limits by themselves. They will learn about boundaries and freedom. So teaching kids how to behave ... its really not about telling them how to behave.. It's a lot about how you behave towards them and towards others in front of them.
School-Parent Partnership is essential to children's well-being. As a school, we are trying to develop a shared understanding and awareness of child development, and practice a common response to challenging behavior so that the world of school and home are not considered worlds apart by the child.
Ms. Mridula Saria's session for our parents, teachers, and leaders from early childhood education centers was interactive, thought-provoking, and insightful. Ms. Saria's way of weaving stories and personal anecdotes connected the audience to her and created a safe space to ask questions and share concerns as well. Her session was a perfect blend of theory and practical application, and the participants learned something new and cleared their doubts about the best way to approach challenging behaviors such as temper tantrums. It was a wonderful session to enhance our school-parent partnership vision!
Principal (Uniglobe School)
Mridula’s sessions are very well covered and in a very simplified way. I got a chance to do much self-reflection. I am taking the techniques I learnt from Mridula’s sessions like the CALM technique, the Traffic light rule, the Adrenaline Play and myself as a frontal lobe substitute for my children until they grow older.
Doctor
The session for teenagers was really helpful . I specially got to learnt a lot about our brain functioning and different chemical reactions that takes place in us, which we were unaware about. I will definitely try the techniques and mirroring as well.
Today’s session has truly changed my perspective and the way I look at my teenage child
I got to know a lot about the reasons why kids react in a certain way, and how I have to be the guiding force and their guardian, in spite of them growing. :) I learnt how I can work towards being a better parent and also keep myself calm. I will definitely implement all the techniques I learnt.
Parent
Despite knowing what I was doing, quite unexpectedly, my son started rebelling at age 10. He felt like I was too controlling and manipulative, hated it. He was angry all the time and wouldn't listen. There was always a “No” to everything. He intentionally tried to make me feel bad. I couldn't figure where I went wrong, as I was doing everything as per my knowledge. I used to be so proud of my parenting. Now the theories that I read were not working. I was desperate. I thought I should seek help.
The first person who came to my mind was Ms Mridula Saria.
My husband and I met her in mid of march, 2021. I poured out all my heartfelt sorrows and she completely understood my situation. Mridula explained child psychology and development to me. She also gave us simple tools to cope with the situation. I was amazed that it worked like MAGIC. Everything is like it was earlier and I cannot thank Mridula enough for giving our life back. It hasn’t just improved my relationship with my son but also with everyone else I am connected with. My husband who was skeptical earlier, now swears by what we have learned.
Parent
I am a firm believer in the vast difference between children growing up and children being raised. 'Raising' children requires conscious parenting that involves lot of introspection and understanding of human behaviour which is not always easy. In my on-going journey as a parent, Mridula has tremendously helped me whenever I fall off the rail. Her techniques derived from extensive research on child behavior and human brain has helped me put my thoughts into action and see immediate results in the relationship between my son and I, making parenting even more joyful. Keep up the good work, Mridula.
Parent
Thank you Mridula for sharing your “food for thought” Session with us. It was nice to learn through your Presentation the connection between how our brain reacts and processes situations and how it translates when dealing with our children. It was indeed a pleasure to see someone as young as yourself having taken this road and the amount of knowledge you have mastered in the subject. Parent - Children relationship is one of a fragile nature and if the foundations as explained by you can be strong then the outcome is a win-win for all. As you continue to evolve in this journey, I am sure you shall continue to enlighten Parents and Children with your knowledge and practical examples!
Delhi Engagers, Entrepreneur’s Organisation
Mridula Saria is a keen learner and learns with the best minds available worldwide. She is a keen reader and a versatile professional.
Her sessions are remarkably focused and she adapts with elan to her audience's needs. The sessions she conducted with parents at Premier International IB Continuum School reflected her in-depth knowledge of the subject and the wide range of knowledge she has garnered as a Parenting Coach and Mentor.
As a mother, she practices what she preaches. Therefore it is with remarkable first-hand insight that she connects with parental isssues and provides easy-to-follow, bite-sized solutions.
Principal (Premier International IB Continuum School)
I wanted to express my gratitude for the invaluable guidance and support you provided as our school consultant. Your expertise in educational strategies and your keen understanding of our school's unique challenges were evident throughout the consulting process.
Your recommendations were practical, actionable, and tailored to the specific needs of our school.
I highly recommend your services to any educational institution seeking a knowledgeable and dedicated consultant. Thank you for contributing to the continuous improvement and success of our school.
Director Mother's pride Ravibhawan
The sessions with Mridula has truly guided me to become a better version of myself, so I can be better parent to my toddler. It has also provided me with tools as a mother, as a spouse, in how to better handle situations that are uncertain in the moment. These sessions are powerful, even months after I’ve left the conversation with Mridula, it stays in the subconscious- practicing these habits and mindset which comes up to the conscious as situations arises (not only while dealing with my toddler, but just life experiences).
It is beautiful to learn and grow as we journey through different phases of life, and even better that we have expertise to support us through the way.
Thank you !