Today my son was being a menace all day, throwing tantrums, crying, taking an hour and a half to just get a bath and get ready. Yes, there were moments of joy in between when he was playing around, but that was barely a portion of the day.
I will be honest, on days like these, I really keep looking at the clock for when it will be 7:00, and time for him to sleep.
On days like these, I try my best to take him for a cycle ride, running around, not with the fact in mind that he will get some activity and have some fun, but just that it will tire him enough, so he sleeps off without an ordeal.
On days like these, I think of all the mothers out there, trying to just get through the day. Some who have enough help and support from their families, but it is still so difficult to raise a child as a mother, that on days like these no amount of help justifies it. Others who have little help or support, for several reasons, and have to balance everything else, along with raising their children.
I keep saying this but parenting is one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life, and of-course the most beautiful and ever so rewarding, which I believe every parent would agree to.
On days like these, sometimes we moms get so lost in getting the essentials sorted, giving the kids a bath, getting them dressed, ensuring they have eaten (More than thrice. Yes! that is a big deal sometimes).
People keep telling us that we need to enjoy our children while they are little as these moments will not come back. But on days like these, we are so so busy ensuring that the “important” things are sorted, we really don’t get a chance to enjoy a moment with our children.
An older friend recently said to me that, “For a parent, the years are so short, they just pass by, but each day is so long that it seems like forever”, and this can’t be truer.
Sometimes days like these seem to occur everyday on an infinite loop, and even though we know that our children will get older and things will get better, but in that moment it seems forever, and we are too exhausted to even think about treasuring or enjoying these moments.
The one thing that helps me the most to avoid days like these is a strong Rhythm. It seems simple, and natural but there is a lot of conscious effort that goes within that simple, seemingly natural word. In my experience with coaching several parents, I have also observed it to be true, that the earlier you begin with a strong rhythm, the better chance you have at surviving and staying sane as a parent, but also the fact that it is never too late to establish a strong rhythm for your child.
Over my first couple of years as a parent, I worshipped the word, ‘RHYTHM’, so much so, that my husband detests that word, but it has made my life so much easier as a parent. It has allowed me to do every thing that I wanted to do, and more.
Children love predictability, and co-operate a lot more with transitions ( from brush to bath, from bath to change of clothes, from playing to meal, etc), when they know what is coming next for them. Over time the transitions may become effortless even.
Children, specially the younger ones don’t like surprises in their days, their bodies and subconscious minds need to know what’s coming next. So if you follow a daily/ weekly /monthly rhythm, you will have more free time in your hands than you can imagine. There will be fewer breakouts. Meal times will be easier cause, then their digestive juices will already know when to flow. They will actually be hungry and not trouble to eat. It can be that magic word that sorts maybe not all but most of your issues as parent, any maybe not all the time, but most of the time.
So take it one step at a time, and start with just three things,
2.Wake up Time
and then maybe when days like these occur, you won’t be so exhausted, and you will be able to even enjoy your child’s tantrums with a smile.
So we can either say, how do I manage my kids, which I feel we say a lot, or we can say how do I enjoy my kids.